Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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