Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
