We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
