I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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