Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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