I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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