If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
Randomize
