He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
