I would go down on you faster than GM stock
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
