spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
