I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
