I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I need a burrito and a hug.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize
