Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Randomize
