you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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