we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
