If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
