What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
