am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
