Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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