I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
