maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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