What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
