Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
