Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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