he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize