Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
