Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
