I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
