come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Someone signed my nipple.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
