babies were throwing up all over the place
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
