I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am one with the molecules
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
