so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize