Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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