I swear she didn't look like that last week.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
