This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
