I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
