nut hugger
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
