"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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