i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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