Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
