I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize