Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
