Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
