please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
