Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Houston, we have a blender
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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