i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Randomize
