After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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