I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
