I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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