wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Randomize
