After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
