Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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