Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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