Can i not drive my cunt home
Sponge bath it is.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
