I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
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