I need help removing her.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
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