dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
