we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
