Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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