She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
